Today I am going to share with you a masterpiece of art.  A friend of mine found this at a store for a whopping $20, and when he called and told me about it I had to get it.  It’s probably the best poker-related anything I’ve ever seen.

Gaze upon this beauty (click for big):

Just try and contain your excitement

There are several things I’d like you to notice about this painting.  First, the cards appear to be the size of road signs.  Apparently two old men (presumably Dan Harrington and Bob Ciaffone or somesuch) are playing poker, and need to be able to see without having to put their glasses on.  Fair enough, right ?  But no!  If you look closely at the cards being revealed, it’s readily apparent that a poker chip is actually playing poker.

There are just so many awful things that are going on with this painting, it just keeps giving back to me every time I look at it.  I love how there’s gin spilled all over the table, and that in the far left stack of blacks, the bottom chip is for some reason bigger than the chips around it.  It’s supposed to be just sticking out, but it’s drawn so badly it’s just gigantic.  Also, the greens in front are just floating a good millimeter on top of the cards.  It’s supposed to be a shadow but instead they look like they’re just tilted on their side magically.   I love how there’s no perspective whatsoever, and of course the greatest part of the whole thing is the KING OF HEARTS WINKING AT YOU.  I guess he’s hoping your opponent has exactly AQ or QQ or something so you can get paid off!  It’s gonna be pretty hard either way considering THERE ARE NO CHIPS IN THE POT.  Somehow this game has no blinds and antes and both players have chosen not to bet at any point (further evidence this is actually Dan Harrington and Bob Ciaffone playing).  It’s also going to be very hard to get paid off considering the opponent apparently has no cards.  At least the winking king appears to be to at least be contrite enough for being in this painting that he’s killing himself.

The best thing about this painting is that it isn’t even a painting.  It’s a poster, with some epoxy or something brushed over it to make it look like brush strokes.  That means this isn’t the product of some struggling artist who’s never seen a card before, this is being mass-produced because asshole college kids are buying these pieces of shit for $20 all over the world somehow.

Now I just have to decide where to hang it.